Pff… so I’m sitting here with studybooks scattered around me, at the dinnertable. I’m actually doing my homework, preparing for my first lesson of school tomorrow. And I’d forgotten how … philosophical and hippy and floaty those studybooks could be. It’s not just human resource management anymore: this study is designed to work with people – to train them. But how can you teach/coach people if you don’t know yourself?
So I’m up for a serious bout of navelgazing in the next few months. *sighs* I’ve always kind of liked the navelgazing, but there’s just so much BULLSHIT in there too, that I want to tell them it’s useless, I’m not going to work along. And I wonder how much of it is a bit of fear, that I don’t want to look inside because maybe I’m afraid of what I’ll see. Or what I have to share.
The first lessons already made me feel uncomfortable. Do I really want to bare my heart and my head already so much to people I’ve never seen before? Suddenly I don’t trust my trainers and teachers and co-students anymore. I never had a problem with that before, yet these days I’m reluctant to throw it all on the table.
Who would have thought? I know it surprises ME, at least. When have I become so withdrawn and untrusting? Am I really jittery to share? ME? Seriously weird…
(this is brenda, btw)
You can do it
I’m sure that once you’ve taken the plunge, you’ll feel better about the entire thing again. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you today.