i just wanted to get back into the swing of writing again and then our webserver's firewall thought it was fun to shut us out. not that we'd been using it a lot so it was low on Olli's list of priorities to fix... so all in all it took many weeks but now it's back up. 🙂

i've been thinking a lot about what i want to do with this blog. i still really enjoy reading back through old blogs and seeing progress, but i just never take the time to sit down and actually write about it. so for now i'm going to keep it on the downlow and just chat about whatever's on my mind - mostly charting on how the big projects are going.

one thing is still the weightloss thing. I'm down to a high 90 and have been at this weight for an agonising five weeks (even gained back a kilo for a horrible week or so) which is demoralising and awfully long when you're in the middle of a process. it's also stupid, because if i look at the previous entry it still means i'm down 2.5kg in a little over two months, which still puts me nicely on schedule. i just need to keep faith; i know it's a plateau, soon enough i'll pass through it again. i just need to lay off the easter chocolate eggs, because those things are the fucking worst. i had this stupid goal of being under 90kg when i needed to wear a gala dress at the Harland Awards, but tbh it doesn't fucking matter. weight is just a number, and i already look amazing so eh - no skin off my nose.

the other is that i'm again plugging away at my manuscript. my beta readers haven't been as prolific as the people i've asked to alpha read, but i feel like a dick for asking anyway - by now we're at book 3 and i can imagine if the shine goes off the lannie being a writer thing. i've been doing this shit for three years now; people have read the shit out of my books so far and they're still sweet and genuinely supportive, but having to put in a shit ton of work under a DEADLINE (because that's where we are at right now, that's a lot to ask and i understand if people can't put in the hours/time/energy.

it's just shit for me, i suppose, but by now i should be able to do it with less support. there's still the closest circle around me that have helped me really well, and goddammit, i'm supposed to have leveled up at this shit. i shouldn't be dependent on it anymore. so i'm not going to push; that would be a dick move. i can do this 🙂

so far i'm still on schedule. i want to send it in mid april, which should be doable if i grind down and kick ass. i'm at 30% right now with still five weeks to go, but my weekends are hella busy with bookevent stuff in the upcoming weeks, so it's going to take some serious effort. i'm confident i can make it though. if i can poop out 122k in three months, then i can edit that shit in a month; right? especially since we're at version 2.3 now. wordcount's gone down to 117k, too.   i've asked publisher C for a longer wait between book 3 and 4 though. originally book 4 (the prequel) was planned for june 2017 but i've asked her to push it back to april 2018. i don't think i can keep up this pace. this book is kicking my butt and i'll have finished the trilogy once this is done, so i deserve another half year of chillage. maybe do some editing for others by the side - i'm told i'm getting pretty awesome at that stuff. C kinda offered me a job on trial basis and i'm definitely interested, so...

how's everything else? work-wise the training department i used to work at is dissolved; i'm now integrated in the services department and i have a lovely bunch of roommate colleagues. i am also constantly being sent out on consultancy work lately, at least a client visit a week, but two has happened as well - which is interesting because i only work four days. i genuinely enjoy the work though, and it's nice to share it with the boys. A and B - my co-trainers - are great guys, and while my manager AK needs some careful handling (she is however super correct and works really hard to support us all), our planner A and i are huge bros. i kinda miss my ex-manager L sometimes, but she's doing another job in the company now. so yeah, lots of changes there... but that's about time. this July it's 6 years since i got the job.

Hmmm, what else? Ol's finally not working for my old employer anymore, but does a project contract at K in zoetermeer. it's very stressy and sleep-wise it's completely kicking his ass at the moment, but he has a good manager and sympathetic colleagues for the first time in forever, so that's good. his salary/rate is also significantly better than the last job, so that's another plus 🙂
and of course i love him so much still. in a couple of weeks it will be 20 years since our first kiss. time flies when you're having fun 🙂  
Health, Journal, Playing, RP

tracking isn't so much fun if there's nothing to track. i haven't written at all in the past few weeks, because i suck. losing weight was also shit, because literally nothing was happening, but the past few days i'm suddenly seeing a 98 on my scales - 98.5 🙂 so fuck if i know how this works, but that's now officially 6.5 kg gone. i lose about a kg a month now (1.5kg a month on average). it's not much, but steady as she goes i suppose. i do need to grab my chart with my weightloss over the past four months regularly, though, just to reassure myself that this is really happening. in happier news, Condamned was a lot of fun. the weather was gorgeous for a while there, and we got to lounge in the sun, i did two ribbon drive games (one was good and the other one was GREAT), and we had a blast playing two rooms and a boom. there were also quite a few fun board games (i'm getting one of them for my birthday from Bren :D). i also organised my sister's bachelorette and there's a lot of stuff I can say about that, but i really don't want to go into that right now. my sister had fun and let's leave it at that. i REALLY hope the weather will get better in the next week though - because the forecasts are shit. and i could do with some 20+ weather, really. also because we're leaving for Scotland soon. i know good weather is too much to hope when going to Scotland, but it would be so nice if it'd at least be dry... :') and then there's the fangirl happiness: 1) there's going to be a final fantasy 7 remake 2) there's a new DBZ series starting 3) brandon sanderson is confirmedly working on stormlight 3 4) and i may have squealed and shouted at my kindle while reading the newest expanse novel, nemesis games. so there's that. 🙂
Health, Journal, Writing

a couple of days ago i was walking bodhi and forcing myself to muse on my third crystal book. i was stuck with my plot (i was in a ???? stage of the plot and that just renders me completely immobile sometimes) for a couple of weeks and i hated it. so i had my playlist on, and i was thinking about dates, and suddenly i realised that in this book we'd reach the tenth anniversary of the tragedy that basically kickstarted all that's gone wrong in the world. and i IMMEDIATELY realised that yes, this is it, i need to so something with this. and a little brainstorming with brenda later, i now have sketches and ideas on how to go forward... as well as a wordcount that proudly stands at 25,345. i've written over 5K this weekend, i'm so stoked! 😀 and i've got a couple of good scenes coming up, so i'll be writing more this week 🙂 then there's the weightloss. this morning i touched on my lowest weight yet: 99.0. i had hoped to dive into the 98 territory, but unfortunately not yet. still, it means that i've lost 6kg in three-and-a-half months. it also means that i now fit back in all my cute skirts again, as well as that wine-red summer dress i like so much that i haven't been able to wear for two years. whoop! i've cleared out my closet and tossed out two garbage bags worth of clothes. some i just never wore anymore, some were shapeless or faded, others really didn't fit anymore and never would. but i got the cute skirts again, and my capri's as well. which is good, because apparently the weather's going to improve IMMENSELY in the next week. you wouldn't say so, when you look outside, but hey. 🙂