so yesterday i was super emo about the whole thing, and i cried a little, because i was so sad. i still am, by the way. that walking around with my soul under my arm thing? still doing that. but yesterday night i suddenly found out why i was actually moved to tears, a week after the fact…. i have my period. so yeah, that happened.
i mean, it’s still not a real period; just some spotting, and it occurs only about twice a year or so, but yeah, that kind of explains why i’ve felt so anguished yesterday and today. my emotions are all over the place. it’s really fascinating to see how much you’re affected by your stupid hormones, and what havoc they wreak on your brain. i thought i was just really, really sad… and i am, but it’s enhanced, you know? it’s the weirdest thing. anyway.
so to make me feel better, i wrote a bit. it’s hard to shift back from fifth-version-editing to first-version-writing… i forgot how SHIT my first versions of stories usually are. heh. of course i know that it doesn’t have to be good… all the first version needs to be is WRITTEN. and it’s fun to explore some themes and to see how everybody responds (there have already been some small surprises and great lines in there) to the shit i’m throwing at them this third time around. and oh, how traumatised they are… i feel like a dick.
CW: 100.9kg – i am blaming the period weight on this one.
onwards and onwards it is.