we have loch rannoch here at 50m from the cottage where we're staying, and today i was on a walk and i had my headphones on with my sweetness & light playlist... and just walking and drinking in that gorgeous sight, and sitting on the edge of the lake and looking at that view while caspian and sleepmakeswaves were filling my ears and beauty was filling my eyes... yeah, that's what happiness feels like some people are mountain people. some people are sea lovers. some people love the forest. me, i'm a lake person. there's no view i love as dearly as a beautiful lake. <3
ten years ago today, i was sitting on a terrace behind the Eetkaemer café in a bronze-coloured dress, with flowers in my hair and i had a new golden ring around my right ring finger. Olli had a matching one, white gold against my yellow gold. it feels like yesterday as well as forever ago. i still love him as much as i did back then. that bullshit about loving someone more every day is not true, i think... or maybe i just hit max level fifteen years ago. he's a part of my soul, and even if it is not always easy, i can't live without him. he's the best thing that ever happened to me and i'm fucking grateful that he puts up with my shit. <3 onwards to the next ten years! (enjoy this piano cover of 'the only moment we were alone' by explosions in the sky. if you'd ask me if Olli and I have 'a song together', then no, not really - but this song is the closest. for some reason it reminds me of our wedding day, because i listened to the song a lot during that summer. it was enough to break me the fuck down when i saw it played live in the paradiso a couple of years ago. and this piano cover is beautiful. i don't think i shared it here yet, so here you go. it's gorgeous and fragile and beautiful.)
tracking isn't so much fun if there's nothing to track. i haven't written at all in the past few weeks, because i suck. losing weight was also shit, because literally nothing was happening, but the past few days i'm suddenly seeing a 98 on my scales - 98.5 so fuck if i know how this works, but that's now officially 6.5 kg gone. i lose about a kg a month now (1.5kg a month on average). it's not much, but steady as she goes i suppose. i do need to grab my chart with my weightloss over the past four months regularly, though, just to reassure myself that this is really happening. in happier news, Condamned was a lot of fun. the weather was gorgeous for a while there, and we got to lounge in the sun, i did two ribbon drive games (one was good and the other one was GREAT), and we had a blast playing two rooms and a boom. there were also quite a few fun board games (i'm getting one of them for my birthday from Bren :D). i also organised my sister's bachelorette and there's a lot of stuff I can say about that, but i really don't want to go into that right now. my sister had fun and let's leave it at that. i REALLY hope the weather will get better in the next week though - because the forecasts are shit. and i could do with some 20+ weather, really. also because we're leaving for Scotland soon. i know good weather is too much to hope when going to Scotland, but it would be so nice if it'd at least be dry... :') and then there's the fangirl happiness: 1) there's going to be a final fantasy 7 remake 2) there's a new DBZ series starting 3) brandon sanderson is confirmedly working on stormlight 3 4) and i may have squealed and shouted at my kindle while reading the newest expanse novel, nemesis games. so there's that.
a couple of days ago i was walking bodhi and forcing myself to muse on my third crystal book. i was stuck with my plot (i was in a ???? stage of the plot and that just renders me completely immobile sometimes) for a couple of weeks and i hated it. so i had my playlist on, and i was thinking about dates, and suddenly i realised that in this book we'd reach the tenth anniversary of the tragedy that basically kickstarted all that's gone wrong in the world. and i IMMEDIATELY realised that yes, this is it, i need to so something with this. and a little brainstorming with brenda later, i now have sketches and ideas on how to go forward... as well as a wordcount that proudly stands at 25,345. i've written over 5K this weekend, i'm so stoked! 😀 and i've got a couple of good scenes coming up, so i'll be writing more this week then there's the weightloss. this morning i touched on my lowest weight yet: 99.0. i had hoped to dive into the 98 territory, but unfortunately not yet. still, it means that i've lost 6kg in three-and-a-half months. it also means that i now fit back in all my cute skirts again, as well as that wine-red summer dress i like so much that i haven't been able to wear for two years. whoop! i've cleared out my closet and tossed out two garbage bags worth of clothes. some i just never wore anymore, some were shapeless or faded, others really didn't fit anymore and never would. but i got the cute skirts again, and my capri's as well. which is good, because apparently the weather's going to improve IMMENSELY in the next week. you wouldn't say so, when you look outside, but hey.